I’m headed out this evening to work a 12-hour shift for LAPD. Most of you know that prior to my life as a website owner, I was a full-time police officer with LAPD.
My last full-time assignment was tracking down parolees-at-large who had stopped checking in with their parole officers and were now fugitives. It was some of the most exciting law enforcement work I did while a full-time cop. Before that, I was a field training officer, working patrol with fresh recruits right out of the Academy, showing them how everything they learned there was applied to real-life situations.
I was two months away from making Detective when I quit to work on my business full-time. At 28, I would have been one of the youngest Detectives on the department. But, I had been working 8 hours a day on my websites and 12 hours a day on-duty and something had to give.
I had a 6-month old daughter and a wife who was a full-time student getting her Masters. I loved being a cop. It was a big risk. But my desire to own my own business was too strong. I “pulled the pin” as cops say and became a reserve officer – still a full police officer, but just not paid for it. (A bit like a volunteer firefighter, but with a gun and body armor).
When you’re writing email subject lines knowing if you don’t make enough money with them you put your family in a tough place (or like you have “a gun to your head” as copy writing expert John Carlton says) you make darn sure the language you write is free of fluff and softness.
Now I have the best of both worlds. I work 2 or 3 12-hour shifts a month. I still have to go through all the annual training and updates as regular officers to keep my credentials active, but don’t make a salary.
I’ve always been a good writer. As a Political Science major in college, I wrote the heck out of my papers. As a cop you do a lot of writing as well. But it’s all about exact facts – with no exaggeration. There’s a little bit of persuasion – but not much. You state exactly what happened and what is known – without embellishing – because those exaggerations will come back to bite you in court when a good defense attorney begins their cross-examination.
Transitioning to writing as a marketing tool was a bit of a shock to my system. Instead of “just the facts, Ma’am” writing, which can often be a bit dry, I now had to write in a way that was irresistibly interesting to the reader. Writing to get “opens” and “clicks” is a lot different than police reports – and a lot more fun.
The best way to improve your skills in writing email subject lines is to split test everything. Write two subject lines you think are both good and try them both. Most of the time, I already have a sense as to which one will win before I even send the email. But sometimes I’m surprised.
With each test I get a little better at writing subject lines that get “opens” and email bodies that get “clicks.”
Here are a few I tested recently and the results:
A) The “brutal truth” interview you have to hear
B) Why do most traders lose money?
Winner: A (in both opens and clicks)
A) Your trading strategy on steroids
B) Steps to improve your trading by 25%
Winner: B (in both opens and clicks)
A) The best MemberCon posts you never read
B) You probably missed these articles
Winner: A (in both opens and clicks)
If there is one thing over the past two years I’ve learned about email writing is that strong language wins every time. Weak words (I call them “loophole words” like “probably,” “might” and “usually” are death for email subject lines and should be avoided at all times.
Words such as “you will,” “always,” and “important” work well. Words like “shocking,” “disaster” and “disturbing” work too, but the trouble with those words is that they wear out your reader very quickly and when you use language like that all the time, it loses it’s punch.
The Lesson Learned: Use strong language and avoid “loophole” language in your email subject lines. The body of the email may be 250 – 500 words, but I spend more time on the 5 words of the subject line than I do on the body itself. It’s that important to the success of your email.
And finally, there’s a tendency in all of us to “cover all our bases” by making the subject lines not too strong because we feel like we don’t want to under-deliver in the email body. Don’t fall for it. Occasionally you may go a bit overboard with your subject lines, but it’s the price you pay for constantly living on the edge with your email marketing. It’s where you need to be to make a living online.
Never lie, but never hold back either for fear that it’s too much or “over the top.” It’s your one chance to make a go at this crazy business.
Related reading:
- Test: Which Font Gets the Best Open and Click Rate
- Our Top Email Subscriber Retention Trick
- Which Web Email Accounts Have the Best Conversion to Memberships?
- Double Opt-in vs. Single Opt-in Email Marketing
email marketing compelling email subject lines